I wanted to include this last blog post on the series about Bosnia because a lot of people are asking me: "What's next?"
Truth is... I don't know.
BOTTOM LINE: I still owe $460 for the Bosnia trip.
So many people have given and been praying so hard for so long over my trip and I need your prayers and support now more than ever.
This trip has meant a ton for my personal relationship with Jesus Christ and I hope I have been able to convey some of that to each of you through my previous three blog posts.
I have set a goal of having this $460 paid off by the end of the summer and I throughly believe that with the continued prayer and support of each of you- we can do it.
However, if I don't reach the goal by the end of the summer it's okay. I will just have to pay off the balance when I start getting paid to work again in September (money that would otherwise go to starting to pay back my college loans). It's okay, God provides.
If you would like to give you can do it in two ways:
1) Mail a Check:
(Just not during the month of July because I will be gone for Study Abroad.)
Make Checks Payable to:
Calvary Cross-link Ministries
Memo Line:
Eric Kennedy, Bosnia
Mail them to:
Eric Kennedy
562 S. High Street
Harrisonburg, VA 22801
2) Go to the Giving Page at Calvary Cross-link Online:
E-Giving at Cross-link
OTHER THAN THAT:
I will be in Harrisonburg until the last weekend of June!
On July 5th, I fly out of Norfolk for Paris & Normandy, France for Study Abroad during the month of July which is allowing me to graduate in December!
I return on July 26th and will come back to Harrisonburg soon after.
August 1st, I start my Campus Mobilizer position with the North American Mission Board. In this position, I will work through the fall semester recruiting a team to go on the GenSend Project with me Summer of 2015.
I will be getting paid for this amazing opportunity and doing some other part-time jobs as well to get ready to start paying back my college loans.
I start my last semester of classes the last week on August 25th. Then I'll be studying and working hard until December when I graduate.
I will develop the NAMB GenSend team in the spring semester and we will be placed in a city in N. America to learn more about living as missionaries and helping church planters who are already in the city for ten weeks in the summer.
I will officially walk across the stage during JMU's Commencement Exercises on May 9th, 2015 because it is way more legit than December's.
College will be over and a whole new chapter of my life and adventure will begin!
Each of you reading this blog have each played HUGE parts in my life and my story and I can't thank you enough for what you've done, and you continue to do.
Anytime you want to talk, meet up, hangout, call whatever, I am always available and would love to hear from you!
I love each of you and pray for you daily.
Thank you!
In Him,
Eric Kennedy
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Living Out James 1:27
James 1:27, "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."
Since returning from Bosnia, I have a redeemed view of this verse.
The Orphan:
The majority of the city where we served were orphans. They have earthly Fathers but they are missing the intimacy with their true Abba Father, God.
The Widow:
The majority of food distribution visits were to the widows. Our first and last visit was to a woman named Safa. During the war, she cried so many tears that no more tears will come. Her tear ducts are dried wells. When she feels sadness or pain, her face scrunches but no tears come. When her husband died, her eyes were dry. She couldn't find tears. Others thought she wasn't sad that he had died and were disappointed with her. She wants to cry, to have tears, but she has used all of them.
My prayer is that as Safa sits, unable to stand from her intense kidney problems, waiting for another visit, that in her struggle to cry, she would look to Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace, and as she accepts Him as her Lord and Savior that she would find tears. Not tears of mourning or loss but tears of pure and devout joy as she finds the peace that she so desperately desires.
Keeping Oneself Unstained by the World:
I love Jesus. I have committed my life to Him and the Great Commission. I still struggle- A LOT. The temptation that I struggle with the most is sexual temptation. From addictions of my past, flesh memories, years of impure thoughts, secrets kept, things done, it has been hard for me to come clean. Turns out I can't. It is only Christ's death on the Cross that has washed me clean and forgiven me of my sins.
If you haven't experienced freedom from this area let me tell you... Satisfaction from sexual addiction is shambles next to the ecstasy of liberation that God provides.
On missions trips it is easy not to be tempted in this way. I'm not home alone. I'm not by myself. People are around me 24/7. Halfway through the week in Bosnia, the name of a porn site was chalked on the sidewalk outside of the place where we were working. No one else noticed it. No one else said anything.
This shook me up a lot. I prayed a lot to figure out why it was there and what it meant. The Lord told me two things:
1) "You can't hide your past. I know what you have done. It doesn't bother me. I'm not ashamed of it. I died for it. I still love you. I've redeemed this in your life."
2) "The entire world is enveloped in spiritual warfare, you know this. You also know that I'm victorious over all of these things. When I died on the cross and rose again, that was it. I am present in this city just like I am present in your life. I have put these people here for my purpose and for my plans. I've allowed this to be on the sidewalk outside of the fence where you are working to show you that, Satan can't touch the work for my Kingdom that is being done here. You've chosen the side of victory. You've chosen the side of purpose, the side of life. I love you and you love me."
It didn't stop there.
When Michael asked me a year ago how I felt about putting together a trip to Bosnia, I asked him if there was going to be any anti-human trafficking work because I knew that a lot more people that I knew would be interested in going on the trip. He said no, that his connections work more with food distribution and ESL and I said okay. The last night of the trip, we stayed in a hotel in the capital of the country. In the rooms surrounding our rooms, men were bringing prostitutes for the night. This is the second time this year that I have seen results of sexual exploitation up close and God spoke to me again.
3) "Look this IS happening here. Just like you saw it in NYC, just like you will see it in France, it is here. So am I. So are you. Because of your past self, because of the previous experience I have given you with NYCUP, you know what exploitation looks like, you know what to do. Pray."
A lot of you reading this probably didn't even know I struggle in this area. My SG Leader, Nate Smith, said at the beginning of this school year (his last leading us) that his desire was for us was to love God as much as he does.
In my pursuit of intimacy with Christ, I've realized something I knew all along. That by allowing God in, by being vulnerable with my friends, the guys I lead, you the reader, by showing what Christ has done in my life, by sharing my testimony, the Gospel becomes so much more real. The gift of eternal life becomes so much more than an escape from hell- it becomes the greatest act of love ever done.
"Visiting orphans and widows in their distress, and keeping ourselves unstained by the world," that is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God our Father can only be realized through relationship and intimacy with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Since returning from Bosnia, I have a redeemed view of this verse.
The Orphan:
The majority of the city where we served were orphans. They have earthly Fathers but they are missing the intimacy with their true Abba Father, God.
The Widow:
The majority of food distribution visits were to the widows. Our first and last visit was to a woman named Safa. During the war, she cried so many tears that no more tears will come. Her tear ducts are dried wells. When she feels sadness or pain, her face scrunches but no tears come. When her husband died, her eyes were dry. She couldn't find tears. Others thought she wasn't sad that he had died and were disappointed with her. She wants to cry, to have tears, but she has used all of them.
My prayer is that as Safa sits, unable to stand from her intense kidney problems, waiting for another visit, that in her struggle to cry, she would look to Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace, and as she accepts Him as her Lord and Savior that she would find tears. Not tears of mourning or loss but tears of pure and devout joy as she finds the peace that she so desperately desires.
Keeping Oneself Unstained by the World:
I love Jesus. I have committed my life to Him and the Great Commission. I still struggle- A LOT. The temptation that I struggle with the most is sexual temptation. From addictions of my past, flesh memories, years of impure thoughts, secrets kept, things done, it has been hard for me to come clean. Turns out I can't. It is only Christ's death on the Cross that has washed me clean and forgiven me of my sins.
If you haven't experienced freedom from this area let me tell you... Satisfaction from sexual addiction is shambles next to the ecstasy of liberation that God provides.
On missions trips it is easy not to be tempted in this way. I'm not home alone. I'm not by myself. People are around me 24/7. Halfway through the week in Bosnia, the name of a porn site was chalked on the sidewalk outside of the place where we were working. No one else noticed it. No one else said anything.
This shook me up a lot. I prayed a lot to figure out why it was there and what it meant. The Lord told me two things:
1) "You can't hide your past. I know what you have done. It doesn't bother me. I'm not ashamed of it. I died for it. I still love you. I've redeemed this in your life."
2) "The entire world is enveloped in spiritual warfare, you know this. You also know that I'm victorious over all of these things. When I died on the cross and rose again, that was it. I am present in this city just like I am present in your life. I have put these people here for my purpose and for my plans. I've allowed this to be on the sidewalk outside of the fence where you are working to show you that, Satan can't touch the work for my Kingdom that is being done here. You've chosen the side of victory. You've chosen the side of purpose, the side of life. I love you and you love me."
It didn't stop there.
When Michael asked me a year ago how I felt about putting together a trip to Bosnia, I asked him if there was going to be any anti-human trafficking work because I knew that a lot more people that I knew would be interested in going on the trip. He said no, that his connections work more with food distribution and ESL and I said okay. The last night of the trip, we stayed in a hotel in the capital of the country. In the rooms surrounding our rooms, men were bringing prostitutes for the night. This is the second time this year that I have seen results of sexual exploitation up close and God spoke to me again.
3) "Look this IS happening here. Just like you saw it in NYC, just like you will see it in France, it is here. So am I. So are you. Because of your past self, because of the previous experience I have given you with NYCUP, you know what exploitation looks like, you know what to do. Pray."
A lot of you reading this probably didn't even know I struggle in this area. My SG Leader, Nate Smith, said at the beginning of this school year (his last leading us) that his desire was for us was to love God as much as he does.
In my pursuit of intimacy with Christ, I've realized something I knew all along. That by allowing God in, by being vulnerable with my friends, the guys I lead, you the reader, by showing what Christ has done in my life, by sharing my testimony, the Gospel becomes so much more real. The gift of eternal life becomes so much more than an escape from hell- it becomes the greatest act of love ever done.
"Visiting orphans and widows in their distress, and keeping ourselves unstained by the world," that is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God our Father can only be realized through relationship and intimacy with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Loving Others (Hebrews 13:1-2)
This past school year was my junior year of college. Since my junior year of high school was my favorite, I was expecting this year to be my favorite of college.
It wasn't. But the kicker is... it should've been!
I started leading a Small Group, I had a sweet internship at Cross-link in the Fall, I was back at Campus Cookies in the Spring, I had a lot of Religion classes, and I started a really awesome relationship with Laurissa!
Everything was great! For whatever reason, I wasn't and I couldn't figure it out.
I felt alone. I kind of felt abandoned. My co-leader had been called by God to donate a portion of his liver to his sister to save her life (MIRACLE) and wasn't back when I thought he would be, my internship at the church didn't turn into a job for the Spring like I thought it was going to, and some other conversations had gone down that were hurtful.
I felt like the people that were my safety net had peaced out because we were all so busy doing our own thing.
Struggling in different ways and not usually thinking of myself as prideful, it was strange when I realized that all of these worries and these concerns were all about me. About myself. About who was looking after me. Each concern was a piece of selfish luggage that I wasn't putting at Jesus' feet.
Ultimately, I was trying to do everything on my own and it took me all of spring semester to realize a simple yet, hard fact: I can't do it on my own.
Only as I have given this baggage completely over to Jesus in the last three months, have things changed.
The reason I am writing and sharing this with you all now is because this relational hurt and scarring (specifically in my ministry work) was redeemed in HUGE ways by working with the staff in Bosnia.
As a staff, they completely value relationships.
Their personal relationships with Jesus.
Their personal relationships with each other.
Their personal relationships with the people they serve.
And, most recently,
Their personal relationships with me.
Because the hurt that I was still carrying from the past year, when I got to Bosnia, I didn't want to get to know the team there. I told myself, I would learn their names, what they did. That was it. I was only going to be there ten days, I would go home, and we would forget each other.
Praise God that He changed that when we landed in Sarajevo!
I was leading our group from customs to the lobby of the airport sarcastically thinking in my head, "here go the introductions." And that's when it all changed for me.
It wasn't. But the kicker is... it should've been!
I started leading a Small Group, I had a sweet internship at Cross-link in the Fall, I was back at Campus Cookies in the Spring, I had a lot of Religion classes, and I started a really awesome relationship with Laurissa!
Everything was great! For whatever reason, I wasn't and I couldn't figure it out.
I felt alone. I kind of felt abandoned. My co-leader had been called by God to donate a portion of his liver to his sister to save her life (MIRACLE) and wasn't back when I thought he would be, my internship at the church didn't turn into a job for the Spring like I thought it was going to, and some other conversations had gone down that were hurtful.
I felt like the people that were my safety net had peaced out because we were all so busy doing our own thing.
Struggling in different ways and not usually thinking of myself as prideful, it was strange when I realized that all of these worries and these concerns were all about me. About myself. About who was looking after me. Each concern was a piece of selfish luggage that I wasn't putting at Jesus' feet.
Ultimately, I was trying to do everything on my own and it took me all of spring semester to realize a simple yet, hard fact: I can't do it on my own.
Only as I have given this baggage completely over to Jesus in the last three months, have things changed.
The reason I am writing and sharing this with you all now is because this relational hurt and scarring (specifically in my ministry work) was redeemed in HUGE ways by working with the staff in Bosnia.
As a staff, they completely value relationships.
Their personal relationships with Jesus.
Their personal relationships with each other.
Their personal relationships with the people they serve.
And, most recently,
Their personal relationships with me.
Because the hurt that I was still carrying from the past year, when I got to Bosnia, I didn't want to get to know the team there. I told myself, I would learn their names, what they did. That was it. I was only going to be there ten days, I would go home, and we would forget each other.
Praise God that He changed that when we landed in Sarajevo!
I was leading our group from customs to the lobby of the airport sarcastically thinking in my head, "here go the introductions." And that's when it all changed for me.
Before she even said hello, the leader of the team said, "You're Eric right?"
I knew that they had asked Michael for pictures and the names of our team to learn and he had sent them, but I honestly didn't think anything would really happen. I was SO wrong, and for ten days, we were full time staff with this team.
In the morning we would meet with them and a member from our group and their's would each share their testimony and immediately someone would pray for the person who just shared.
After our morning time, we split into small teams led by the staff members and did food distribution or taught English all day.
During lunch and during free time, we would talk and get to know each other. Break bread and drink water, coffee, juice, or Coke; it didn't matter, we were doing it together and learning more about each other.
No time was wasted.
Their team work was beautiful. Some of the team members were from the United States and some were not. Some were married couples with children, and some were single men and women. No matter the difference, it was completely clear that God had called each member there for His divine purpose in that place.
From studying NGOs academically, from personally entering full time ministry, and from being hurt over the past year by certain relationships; the team that we worked with in Bosnia was a great model for ministry and working with them has been a completely redeeming experience for me.
Thank you.
When people have asked me what my favorite part about my trip to Bosnia was, I don't say the food (even though it was great), I don't say the view (even though the country is beautiful), I tell them it is the relationships that I built.
Relationship with the workers in Bosnia.
Relationship with those I met along the way.
Relationship with my other team members.
And,
Deeper personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Literally, I took my backpack to Bosnia with my supplies, but, emotionally and spiritually, I was still carrying some of my selfish baggage that I hadn't completely released.
This extra baggage was a distraction. It shouldn't have made its way over the Atlantic and it definitely wouldn't have fit in the van to our placement city.
Because of the value of relationships by this team, and the question of, "Eric, right?" that I was asked at the airport, I lost this extra baggage in the Sarajevo airport.
I didn't look back for it when we loaded the vans.
I didn't look for it before we left on our return flight.
I'm home and enjoying the lightness of releasing my selfishness and pride to the Savior.
Thank you.
I knew that they had asked Michael for pictures and the names of our team to learn and he had sent them, but I honestly didn't think anything would really happen. I was SO wrong, and for ten days, we were full time staff with this team.
In the morning we would meet with them and a member from our group and their's would each share their testimony and immediately someone would pray for the person who just shared.
After our morning time, we split into small teams led by the staff members and did food distribution or taught English all day.
During lunch and during free time, we would talk and get to know each other. Break bread and drink water, coffee, juice, or Coke; it didn't matter, we were doing it together and learning more about each other.
No time was wasted.
Their team work was beautiful. Some of the team members were from the United States and some were not. Some were married couples with children, and some were single men and women. No matter the difference, it was completely clear that God had called each member there for His divine purpose in that place.
From studying NGOs academically, from personally entering full time ministry, and from being hurt over the past year by certain relationships; the team that we worked with in Bosnia was a great model for ministry and working with them has been a completely redeeming experience for me.
Thank you.
When people have asked me what my favorite part about my trip to Bosnia was, I don't say the food (even though it was great), I don't say the view (even though the country is beautiful), I tell them it is the relationships that I built.
Relationship with the workers in Bosnia.
Relationship with those I met along the way.
Relationship with my other team members.
And,
Deeper personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Literally, I took my backpack to Bosnia with my supplies, but, emotionally and spiritually, I was still carrying some of my selfish baggage that I hadn't completely released.
This extra baggage was a distraction. It shouldn't have made its way over the Atlantic and it definitely wouldn't have fit in the van to our placement city.
Because of the value of relationships by this team, and the question of, "Eric, right?" that I was asked at the airport, I lost this extra baggage in the Sarajevo airport.
I didn't look back for it when we loaded the vans.
I didn't look for it before we left on our return flight.
I'm home and enjoying the lightness of releasing my selfishness and pride to the Savior.
Thank you.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Where's Bosnia?
When I tell people I went to Bosnia one of their first questions is: Where is Bosnia? I could be upset because people don't know where this place that desperately needs prayer and support is located but truth is- I didn't know exactly where it was until about a week before I left.
In the 1990's when the Bosnian War was taking place, I was a child. Until we started doing training for our trip, I didn't even know there had been a war there. How sad.
Thinking I would make this post a critique of others all I have is an apology.
I'm sorry that I didn't know where Bosnia was on the globe.
I'm sorry that I didn't know Bosnia was still reconstructing from war.
I'm sorry that I didn't know over 100,000 people died.
I'm sorry that during the war, humans marched other humans out of ViĊĦegrad and slit their throats. I'm sorry some killed, "in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost."
I'm sorry that I didn't learn about your history in school like you learn about mine.
I'm sorry that I didn't come sooner.
Despite my sorrow, I want to express how thankful I am. How joyful.
I'm so thankful that God knows me and every Bosnian by name. I'm so thankful that the holes in Jesus' Hands and Feet are what I see when I see the bullet holes in the walls of Bosnian homes.
I'm so thankful that even as I return home, God has not left these people. God is still with my Bosnian friends and family. He loves them just as He loves me.
I'm so thankful that God has never forgotten Bosnia.
When you ask God, 'Break my heart for what breaks Yours,' that's when your heart will be broken, that's when it will be set a fire, and THAT'S when it will be refined.
How beautiful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)