It wasn't. But the kicker is... it should've been!
I started leading a Small Group, I had a sweet internship at Cross-link in the Fall, I was back at Campus Cookies in the Spring, I had a lot of Religion classes, and I started a really awesome relationship with Laurissa!
Everything was great! For whatever reason, I wasn't and I couldn't figure it out.
I felt alone. I kind of felt abandoned. My co-leader had been called by God to donate a portion of his liver to his sister to save her life (MIRACLE) and wasn't back when I thought he would be, my internship at the church didn't turn into a job for the Spring like I thought it was going to, and some other conversations had gone down that were hurtful.
I felt like the people that were my safety net had peaced out because we were all so busy doing our own thing.
Struggling in different ways and not usually thinking of myself as prideful, it was strange when I realized that all of these worries and these concerns were all about me. About myself. About who was looking after me. Each concern was a piece of selfish luggage that I wasn't putting at Jesus' feet.
Ultimately, I was trying to do everything on my own and it took me all of spring semester to realize a simple yet, hard fact: I can't do it on my own.
Only as I have given this baggage completely over to Jesus in the last three months, have things changed.
The reason I am writing and sharing this with you all now is because this relational hurt and scarring (specifically in my ministry work) was redeemed in HUGE ways by working with the staff in Bosnia.
As a staff, they completely value relationships.
Their personal relationships with Jesus.
Their personal relationships with each other.
Their personal relationships with the people they serve.
And, most recently,
Their personal relationships with me.
Because the hurt that I was still carrying from the past year, when I got to Bosnia, I didn't want to get to know the team there. I told myself, I would learn their names, what they did. That was it. I was only going to be there ten days, I would go home, and we would forget each other.
Praise God that He changed that when we landed in Sarajevo!
I was leading our group from customs to the lobby of the airport sarcastically thinking in my head, "here go the introductions." And that's when it all changed for me.
Before she even said hello, the leader of the team said, "You're Eric right?"
I knew that they had asked Michael for pictures and the names of our team to learn and he had sent them, but I honestly didn't think anything would really happen. I was SO wrong, and for ten days, we were full time staff with this team.
In the morning we would meet with them and a member from our group and their's would each share their testimony and immediately someone would pray for the person who just shared.
After our morning time, we split into small teams led by the staff members and did food distribution or taught English all day.
During lunch and during free time, we would talk and get to know each other. Break bread and drink water, coffee, juice, or Coke; it didn't matter, we were doing it together and learning more about each other.
No time was wasted.
Their team work was beautiful. Some of the team members were from the United States and some were not. Some were married couples with children, and some were single men and women. No matter the difference, it was completely clear that God had called each member there for His divine purpose in that place.
From studying NGOs academically, from personally entering full time ministry, and from being hurt over the past year by certain relationships; the team that we worked with in Bosnia was a great model for ministry and working with them has been a completely redeeming experience for me.
Thank you.
When people have asked me what my favorite part about my trip to Bosnia was, I don't say the food (even though it was great), I don't say the view (even though the country is beautiful), I tell them it is the relationships that I built.
Relationship with the workers in Bosnia.
Relationship with those I met along the way.
Relationship with my other team members.
And,
Deeper personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Literally, I took my backpack to Bosnia with my supplies, but, emotionally and spiritually, I was still carrying some of my selfish baggage that I hadn't completely released.
This extra baggage was a distraction. It shouldn't have made its way over the Atlantic and it definitely wouldn't have fit in the van to our placement city.
Because of the value of relationships by this team, and the question of, "Eric, right?" that I was asked at the airport, I lost this extra baggage in the Sarajevo airport.
I didn't look back for it when we loaded the vans.
I didn't look for it before we left on our return flight.
I'm home and enjoying the lightness of releasing my selfishness and pride to the Savior.
Thank you.
I knew that they had asked Michael for pictures and the names of our team to learn and he had sent them, but I honestly didn't think anything would really happen. I was SO wrong, and for ten days, we were full time staff with this team.
In the morning we would meet with them and a member from our group and their's would each share their testimony and immediately someone would pray for the person who just shared.
After our morning time, we split into small teams led by the staff members and did food distribution or taught English all day.
During lunch and during free time, we would talk and get to know each other. Break bread and drink water, coffee, juice, or Coke; it didn't matter, we were doing it together and learning more about each other.
No time was wasted.
Their team work was beautiful. Some of the team members were from the United States and some were not. Some were married couples with children, and some were single men and women. No matter the difference, it was completely clear that God had called each member there for His divine purpose in that place.
From studying NGOs academically, from personally entering full time ministry, and from being hurt over the past year by certain relationships; the team that we worked with in Bosnia was a great model for ministry and working with them has been a completely redeeming experience for me.
Thank you.
When people have asked me what my favorite part about my trip to Bosnia was, I don't say the food (even though it was great), I don't say the view (even though the country is beautiful), I tell them it is the relationships that I built.
Relationship with the workers in Bosnia.
Relationship with those I met along the way.
Relationship with my other team members.
And,
Deeper personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Literally, I took my backpack to Bosnia with my supplies, but, emotionally and spiritually, I was still carrying some of my selfish baggage that I hadn't completely released.
This extra baggage was a distraction. It shouldn't have made its way over the Atlantic and it definitely wouldn't have fit in the van to our placement city.
Because of the value of relationships by this team, and the question of, "Eric, right?" that I was asked at the airport, I lost this extra baggage in the Sarajevo airport.
I didn't look back for it when we loaded the vans.
I didn't look for it before we left on our return flight.
I'm home and enjoying the lightness of releasing my selfishness and pride to the Savior.
Thank you.
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